Post by Cami O'Connell on Dec 18, 2014 8:30:27 GMT -6
As the sun crested the city, Cami stepped away from the window in an almost-trance like state. She tried to make sense of it all as she stood in that same spot for hours. Tried to compartmentalize her feelings, her emotions and her next step into tidy little boxes but no matter how she crammed, they refused to fit. That's how it was with emotions. There were no blacks and whites. No easily understood truths. Nothing was simple. Especially when it came to Klaus.
Just when she came to one conclusion, another thought would disrupt her logic and she would find herself back at the beginning where she tried to sort out. The only solution she could come up with was to leave. He had certainly encouraged her leaving enough. To separate herself from him and this life and from the constant whiplash she suffered from the way he drew her in and pushed her away. But the mere thought of leaving, of turning her back on him and his family, made her heart ache.
She crawled into her bed in spite of the rising sun and pulled the cream down duvet over her head. As if just like the morning sun she could block out everything else. Finally the sleep that evaded her, welcomed her in.
The respite she hoped for did not come, however. Instead her mind decided now was a good time to replay the kiss she and Klaus shared. As if she weren't already plagued by it in her awake state. But this time, after the kiss there were more kisses. No one pulled away. There were laughs of relief and sighs of delight without a dark cloud hanging over them. But that wasn't the tortuous part. Her mind ran away with her and she dreamed of little scenes free of worry or warfare. Their head would be bent toward each others sharing an intimate moment followed by light-hearted laughter.
Her mind's eye blurred and refocused on individual moments. The push and pull. This dance. This back and forth she and Klaus had perfected- played itself out in her mind. Each near kiss. Each tender touch. Warm embrace. Every argument. The fights they fought together and against each other. Every truth relieved and secret shared.
Suddenly, Cami was carried away, high above the city. As the wind whipped her hair around her face and the chill cut through her clothes she stood on the edge of the roof of One Shell Square. She had never taken the time or had the perspective to appreciate how each street and neighborhood came together to form the patchwork like grid of the landscape. Down there in the thick of the city it was just streets, quarters. parishes and buildings. But from up here she could appreciate the beauty in the details.
Without warning Cami was sitting on her Gramma's lap while her soft fingers, with knuckles deformed by arthritis, moved deftly as she pierced the farbic with the needle and pulled the thread thru with expertise. Cami could hear her Gramma's voice but could not make out her words. She was transfixed on the pattern the floss created. "Faith. Hope. Love."- nestled into intricate flowers, vines and ribbons. Instantly Cami recognized it at the pillow she inherited. It had forever since been prominently displayed right in the center of her bed. The answers she had searched for had been right there all along.
"You see my poppet. Alone, they are just pieces of floss and fabric. Nothing special. Ahhh but the push and pull is what creates something special."
Just when she came to one conclusion, another thought would disrupt her logic and she would find herself back at the beginning where she tried to sort out. The only solution she could come up with was to leave. He had certainly encouraged her leaving enough. To separate herself from him and this life and from the constant whiplash she suffered from the way he drew her in and pushed her away. But the mere thought of leaving, of turning her back on him and his family, made her heart ache.
She crawled into her bed in spite of the rising sun and pulled the cream down duvet over her head. As if just like the morning sun she could block out everything else. Finally the sleep that evaded her, welcomed her in.
The respite she hoped for did not come, however. Instead her mind decided now was a good time to replay the kiss she and Klaus shared. As if she weren't already plagued by it in her awake state. But this time, after the kiss there were more kisses. No one pulled away. There were laughs of relief and sighs of delight without a dark cloud hanging over them. But that wasn't the tortuous part. Her mind ran away with her and she dreamed of little scenes free of worry or warfare. Their head would be bent toward each others sharing an intimate moment followed by light-hearted laughter.
Her mind's eye blurred and refocused on individual moments. The push and pull. This dance. This back and forth she and Klaus had perfected- played itself out in her mind. Each near kiss. Each tender touch. Warm embrace. Every argument. The fights they fought together and against each other. Every truth relieved and secret shared.
Suddenly, Cami was carried away, high above the city. As the wind whipped her hair around her face and the chill cut through her clothes she stood on the edge of the roof of One Shell Square. She had never taken the time or had the perspective to appreciate how each street and neighborhood came together to form the patchwork like grid of the landscape. Down there in the thick of the city it was just streets, quarters. parishes and buildings. But from up here she could appreciate the beauty in the details.
Without warning Cami was sitting on her Gramma's lap while her soft fingers, with knuckles deformed by arthritis, moved deftly as she pierced the farbic with the needle and pulled the thread thru with expertise. Cami could hear her Gramma's voice but could not make out her words. She was transfixed on the pattern the floss created. "Faith. Hope. Love."- nestled into intricate flowers, vines and ribbons. Instantly Cami recognized it at the pillow she inherited. It had forever since been prominently displayed right in the center of her bed. The answers she had searched for had been right there all along.
"You see my poppet. Alone, they are just pieces of floss and fabric. Nothing special. Ahhh but the push and pull is what creates something special."